show me who i really am
by no white horse for me
Summary: "She lives a lie, lives behind a mask of meatballs and sneakers and laughter." seddie. Angsty. one-shot


She is trapped, trapped in the recesses of her mind where there is no escape.

She doesn't know what to b.e.l.i.e.v.e anymore, because her life has already been planned out for her.

Who is she? Why is she [special] next to everyone else?

She tries. _Tries _as hard as possible to escape this little bit of **Hell** that is hers. But it's not enough.

Nothing she does is {_ever_} enough.

She lives a lie, lives behind a mask of meatballs and sneakers and laughter.

But behind the mask, she is w.e.a.k and SCARED and _fearful_that someone will discover the real her.

She has built up a wall that no one can break down.

Her mother is a mess, her sister is beautiful (much more than her) and her dad hasn't been heard from for years, ever since he walked away from them without a goodbye.

And her best friend is **perfect**.

Dark brown hair that falls down in waves of gloss and glitter. She doubts that her best friend is living a lie like she is.

Carly has everything she could need: a father who loves her, a brother who loves her just as much, a great house, boys falling around her like flies.

And she has _{_**Freddie**_}_

Carly doesn't realize just how lucky she is.

Sam lives behind a mask of not caring and hatred and anger, but really, she's just like everyone else.

She hurts, she breaks, she has feelings. She loves, she hates and she gets trapped in the middle.

She becomes encased, locked in a life that isn't hers.

She acts as though nothing is wrong, as though her life has not changed much.

But in reality, everything is wrong – she's watching as her life crumbles around her, and she's helpless.

And sometimes, there's nothing she can do but scream, tear her sharp nails down the soft skin of her face, entangle them in her blond locks and break down, shatter completely where no one can see just how fragile she really is.

But she is a Puckett, and Pucketts do not let people see _j u s t h o w f r a g i l e_ they are.

She is trapped in an insanity she cannot escape.

* * *

><p>He lives a <span>lie<span>.

All there is to it, a lie, a **fake**, a _façade_. And he's never shed it, never lost the act.

Except perhaps around the blond. Yeah, that seems right.

She's seen who he r.e.a.l.l.y is, even if he hasn't.

He's the dorky tech stooge of the **popular** web show iCarly.

That's how people c-o-n-n-e-c-t him, match his face to their vocabulary.

'_OMG, are you Freddie Benson from iCarly? You're too cute!'_

Yeah, he's gotten used to it.

And he's in love with precious, perfect Carly Shay.

And **best** friends with Sam Puckett.

He stands beHIND the camera while the two make people laugh.

He's _supposed _to stay behind the camera.

He's got a great life – a mom who loves him, two great friends, everything a boy could possibly want.

His life seems [perfect]

But it's not.

He lives inside a cell – blank walls, blank floors, blank _mind_, and he is trapped inside with little hope of getting out.

He is pushed back and back and **back** every time he tries to get out.

He is forced to live inside his memory, locked inside his own mind, trapped by blond and gold and glitter and sapphire and topaz and _blinding white_ and red and every other colour that are permanently etched into his mind.

He is like a puppet, suspending on strings, his puppeteer controlling him and sneering and laughing at him.

And he **hates** it.

But he daren't _b r e a k a w a y_ because he will not mess up the rules.

He is encased in a life that is not his own.

And guess what?

Only **she** can help him.

* * *

><p>People call it i.n.s.a.n.i.t.y.<p>

_Craziness_.

**Madness**.

Being {cocooned} in whatever this is, it's not worth it.

People call it stupidity.

_f o o l i s h n e s s_

And every other mean of insanity that there is.

But you know what Samantha Puckett and Fredward Benson call it?

Go on, take a guess, nothing's wrong.

_**L.O.V.E**_

**ain't got a clue where this is from. enjoy it! and if i do say so myself, i'm getting better at writing angst! mwahahahaha!  
>HPloveofmylife<strong>


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